Bless Your Heart

My friend Brooke had this posted on her blog and it made me smile : ) . I love that I come from the South and have southern ways.


Southern women know their summer weather report:

Humidity

Humidity

Humidity


Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick



Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah



Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With the Wind


Southern women know their religions:

Baptist

Methodist

Football



Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn

S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna



Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform

Men in tuxedos

Rhett Butler



Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon



Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food



More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____


Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc.., make up

"a mess."

_____


Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of” yonder."

_____


Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

_____


Even Southern babies know that"Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

_____


All Southerners know exactly when “by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

_____


Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

_____


Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near” and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

_____


Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

_____


No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

_____


A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb..

_____


Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, .... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!

_____


Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

_____


In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

_____


Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

_____


Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

_____


When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

_____


Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. _____


And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

_____


To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

_____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

_____


And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."





Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could